(previous post)

It took decades to get the whole new industrial revolution thing settled. It started out as NASA folded, in 2022 – the de-bubblification of flatlander economies. The famous quote ‘we are no fizz so please stop with the bubbles‘ scrawled all over wallstreet with paintball graffity was a watershed moment. NASA evaporated into several dozen startups and for a few years nothing happened. “The end of human space travel‘ WSJB tweeted with piles of libsmug.

Nobody in charge wanted Space Industries. After the 2018 cameron movie Vacuum Rush (In 3D) rich nation left and right agreed – the last thing we want us big tax payer paid space. ‘fine’ said a few hundred Ex-NASA managers with half a brain, when the crisis unfolded, ‘we can do this without <IQ90 taxpayers strung around our balls like a millstone'. It took three years before the first privately owned sat operator to turn into a dotcom bubble – and ever since bubbles emigrated into space. The first company declared literal independence, jokingly calling themselves 'weyland-yutani'. Fox tried suing them and lost since there was a problem physically serving the 'cease and desist' notice to LEO. Everybody laughed. A 400 pound Leno fired off a tirade (In 3D) about '20 sweaty guys locked in a trailer in ohio also declaring independence'. Ten years later however, nobody was laughing anymore. To this day the LEO museum display of that habitat still has a 20 by 20 meter hull painting of Jay Lenno, with his eternal quote 'this can is full of hot, humid, fart air‘. Funny thing is, Jay Leno still lives, now over 140 years old, and is still trying to buy the ‘kittyhawk station’ from GooCor, to no avail.

I should interject here – ‘there wasn’t just one revolution, there was a whole bunch!’ my AI butler Eliezer reminds me. And he’d be right. My butler is an old Eliza, and he remind me all the time, to interject plot twists in my monologues!. And this is probably a halfway decent one. Yes it was wave after wave of revolutions – Psion drives. Slingshots. Lateral skyhooks. Containervilles. Rift cities on the moon. Tubeplexes on the moon. Strategical Comnets. Then Mercurial Energy. Ceres Transational. Lunar Bank taking human labor as equivalent monetary standard. UT midichlorian therapies (yes they called their synthetic mitochondrians like that). Dispersed orbital robotics. But my point was, Eliezer, from a flatlander perspective. Because – how many people really experienced anything? Most dirters were stuck in their old paradigms. Space was something external and peripheral and auxiliary to flatlanders.

Flatlanders regarded space as something like a bunch of contract workers who should be grateful they got a chance to do that space hobby thing, and STFU and please can the price of Hetty be lowered, thank you very much?

But only now, with vacuumwelding has that changed. I mean – 12 billion people on earth, many pseudolegals (clones, eumorphs, uplifts) 90% living richer than the backward, primitive retards of 2040. They all want more and more and by now not only space is offering it, it offers it at falling emigration costs and rising standards of living. And with GooCorp mining hundreds of NEAs and ExaSoft mining hundreds of belt asteroids we are well into the exponential growth curves. That means that if we have enough elevators, and we have enough mass drivers and we have enough hardened migrating rhoids stuffed full of Hiltons and HollydayHubs and Marriots then we can migrate people as fast as they come. And yes, after a century of anti-space Leno people don’t come all that fast.

Right now there is 34 million people in space. 24 of them permanently. But if we can get people on earth to actually want to ‘unshackle’ from their goddamn MMO’s we can get them to double their standard of living by going solar orbit. We finally have the means to start denting down earth population levels, and start repairing the planet in earnest.

So how do we get the mudlanders of their padded furry tailed asses?

Your guess is as good as mine. We can take ten million emigrants a year and over twenty in a decade, but not half that actually wants to sign up. We are giving away mansions. But the dirt people prefer staying in the gravity well under 200 square meter apartments, with terrorists and diseases and crime and taxes and Leno and overpopulation and accidents everywhere. Who in their right mind would want to live on earth? The place is a death trap. But we cannot unravel a century of passive-aggressive negative publicity in one decade.

(to be continued)

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